Once, there was nothing we could do about time. The past becomes a figment of the imagination with every day that dawned. However, when technology came along, it caught up with time, figured out its insipid ways and halted it dead on its tracks. Things that used to take weeks, even month, are now accomplished in a fraction of a second. Indeed, we are beginning to outsmart time.
Along with our taming of time came a mastery of that most elusive, yet powerful of time’s children: AGE. Age, as the saying now goes, is nothing but a number. With all the advances in healthcare, nutrition and aesthetics, one may now look as young as one very well sees fit. Wrinkles, sun damage, worn skin and excess weight can now, despite being a result of the past, become a thing of the past. The paradox that is created, however, as we persist in our mission to appear ever younger is the dismal realization that this may not necessarily lead us to feel any younger.
Therein lies the dilemma. Youthful beauty is all well and good, but as another popular adage goes, beauty is only skin-deep. The real, and often irretrievable, casualty of time is innocence. Try as we might to maintain it, the years have a way of changing our views, evolving our motives and leading us to enjoy what we previously could not have even imagined. The question then emerges: is there no way, given all the technology, all the advances we’ve experienced throughout our tenure as top species on planet earth, to look young and feel it, too? Is innocence lost forever?
Not anymore. Believe it or not, there now exists a method to recapture not only the vibrancy of lost youth, but the essence, the unmistakable sensation of it to boot. A procedure that once has been a mere concept in fiction is now possible. In fact, the word ‘possible’ is itself selling the method short as its reliability, ease and availability have made it downright accessible. The science behind it may be intricate, but the result itself is readily defined in one simple word:
Revirginizing.
Lasers, God bless ‘em. They keep our elevator doors from crushing us, tell us how far the crab nebula is, read our DVDs, align our power tools and really make our nights out clubbing a lot more colorful. Just when you thought we’d seen all of this ubiquitous technology’s applications, they go and shock us again.
Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation. These three words, while perfectly intelligible separately, are all of a sudden rendered incomprehensible when grouped together in such a fashion. Simply put, the initial reaction that this particular phrase elicits is: ‘Excuse me??”
But it’s true, ladies and gentlemen. And it’s here.
The folks at Beverly Hills 6750 are geniuses. The esteemed Multi-Specialty Aesthetic Institute, through the highly regarded Dr. Abe Marinduque, has pioneered this unique branch of healthcare: BH Gynesthetics.
The vagina, much like any other part of the body, loses much of its constitution with age, or after natural childbirth. Women, heretofore, had to accept this as an inherent function of growing old. As a direct consequence, much of the pleasure and sensuality is stripped from the act of lovemaking, due to a lack of sensation on both the woman’s part and her partner’s. Age isn’t the only culprit, as conditions like what’s known as ‘relaxed vagina’ (weakening of the vaginal tissues) can also lead to decreased sensitivity and, ultimately, sexual dysfunction. This weakening of vaginal integrity, however, need no longer be another one of the routine potholes on the road of life.
Utilizing the very latest in Laser technology, LVR carefully and precisely reconstructs the vaginal support system, leading to a tighter, more youthful feel. For the aid of those for whom it’d been a long time, this ‘tight and more youthful feel’ translates as ‘amazing sex’. Moreover, this tightness is virtually permanent, reversed only by subsequent vaginal birthing. And because Lasers are used, LVR is safe, relatively bloodless, the recovery time is shorter and the aesthetic results better. Indeed, a patient who’d undergone LVR may return to work in just seven days.
In the modern world, most every little girl who learns of the birds and the bees learns of the hymen in the process: a fragile ring of tissue that, once breached, assures she shall never be referred to as a ‘virgin’ in confidence again. Those days are coming to an end. Enter Beverly Hills 6750’s Laser Hymenoplasty procedure. It is a method by which a Laser is employed to reconstruct a woman’s hymen to a virginal status. Imagine that. A means to a beginning. A return to innocence. A procedure that a layman would no doubt adequately describe as ‘revirginizing’.
Take that, Time.
Beverly Hills 6750’s Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation. A woman’s best friend.